So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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