I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be your penis for a week.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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