it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
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Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
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Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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