All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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