How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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