Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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