I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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