the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
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My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
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I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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