Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This baby is an asshole
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize