YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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