I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
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I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
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He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
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