At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize