we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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