But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
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Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
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I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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