I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
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We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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