she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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