Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize