Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Randomize