whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
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Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
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ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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