I just cut my nipple shaving
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
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We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
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I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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