Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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