Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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