arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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