I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize