that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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