What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
They took my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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