Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize