i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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