I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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