I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize