i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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