i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
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