Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize