so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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