i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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