I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
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