I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize