yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
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