Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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