he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
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