Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize