She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize