I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize