well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
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So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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