i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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