Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize