and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
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They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
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Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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