so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
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