Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Let's get the cat blown out
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize