the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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